I remember early on in my marriage, my wife and I lived out in the ‘burbs and did a lot of driving. For a given destination, if my wife drove, the route was always the same. If I drove, it was guaranteed to be completely unique. Traffic slow on the main highway? I’d exit and try a back route I’d never seen before. Woops – didn’t get over soon enough to make that exit, well, let’s see where the next one takes us.
As you can imagine, it drove my wife nuts.
Wife: “Why are we turning here? Going straight is the quickest route.”
Me: “I don’t know, just thought I’d try a different way this time.”
The bottom line is that I enjoy mixing it up. My wife, on the other hand, prioritizes travel efficiency.
And this leads me back to the book “Unreasonable Hospitality.” Will Guidara’s premise: hospitality-first culture is great for business. It helps you find and retain great talent, create raving fans out of your customers, and ultimately increases profitability. But that hinges on how you define hospitality. In chapter 1 he contrasts hospitality with service:
“Getting the right plate to the right person at the right table is service. But genuinely engaging with the person your serving, so you can make authentic connection – that’s hospitality.”
After almost 30 years of marriage, I’ve learned that when I’m driving and my wife is in the car, we prioritize efficiency. If I’m by myself, I wander. And that’s what hospitality is – it’s understanding another person. It’s making choices that consider them and their uniqueness.
Guidara argues we are losing sight of that in a tech focused culture that prioritizes rationality and efficiency. I agree – this focus leads us to value (or devalue) human beings based on rigid criteria. If instead, Guidara argues, we get to know the person then we can learn where an individual’s interests and talents lie and find work that ticks their boxes instead of the other way round.
If you want to get somewhere as quickly as possible, then you should let my wife drive. If instead you are looking for a more scenic route, then let me drive. But don’t ask expect me to drive like my wife or vice versa. Humans are unique and the best way to maximize their potential is to find their strengths and put them where their strengths can shine.